TWO

Song: Trauma, by N’to

 

One two three four.

One two three four.

One two three four.

One two three four.

Juan Sanchez is playing a very industrial kind of Techno, like if he was building up a metallic stage for Speedy –J to do his magic in an hour from now. The crowd is feeling the vibe since the dance floor is full, nobody is talking to each other and an army of hands are making its appearance vertically and horizontally. The energized girls keep dancing like if there is no tomorrow and so are now my friends and I. I look at the DJ Impatiently, like if he was responsible for choosing when the MDMA will perform tonight; and it is just in this moment when it all comes.

One two three four.

One two three four.

One two three foooooooouuuuur…..

I feel like if somebody gently shook my whole body from left to right during 3 seconds in the same exact time while a thousand ants walk from my feet and hands to meet up in my thorax. It is now when I precisely know that MDMA just started its shift tonight. Just in the moment when the tingling conquers all my body, time loses its constructed meaning since everything seems to be in slow motion. I stop thinking. I break the lay that keeps me away from the context to finally be in it. No. Be part of it. Like if before I was living through an avatar, but now, the avatar is actually me. Welcome to the present.

My head feels so light and the tingling feels pleasurable, very pleasurable. My mouth can’t stop itself from smiling and so are my eyes. Like when a cat is being stroked. My eyes feel heavy and I think my ears just woke up from a very long nap. The music sounds clearer than before and my body hair stands up just like meerkats observing the landscape. I start dancing slower than before but more in tune with the music since I feel like my body is connected to it. I don’t react to the music but the music goes through my body. I feel like I get the timing better, like I’m more into the story the DJ is trying to tell; and I don’t know what story is it but I don’t care because I am part of it and that’s all I need for it to feel good. Pure existentialism.

I am not thinking anymore. I am not analysing what is happening anymore, neither thinking about tomorrow, nor yesterday, nor my worries or who will go for the next round of beer. My mind gives way to my senses. The sometimes annoying voice at the back of my head just took a holiday to wherever conceptions of the self go to have fun. My senses feel sharp and more opened which makes me feel more present than when I’m not under – or within – the effects of MDMA. my body throws flax-backs of sensations from other moments that I felt like this. Like when you smell curry and your body automatically relaxes itself because it links the smell with the holidays in Thailand, my body feels relaxed because is back into mindfulness. Ecstasy is like doping for your senses.

My dance moves start to be experimental as instead of just repetitions of past moves. My dancing soul is exploring itself. I don’t feel any sort of embarrassment: it is just the natural thing to do. And I see everyone doing so, enjoying the situation and letting the situation move their bodies. I look at my friends and they are also hovering in this little piece of the galaxy; we all look at each other and smile, like partakers of a semi-synchronized swimming competition. They are great and this is great. I feel very attached to these two human beings and that makes me feel appreciation for them. And I want them to know it. – Yeeesss… – I say to them while my lips extend showing a tender smile; and a tender smile is what I get back. Pure love.

I feel way more embedded in the context. I am part of it as instead of in it. I am the night and tonight is a great night to be.

One two three four.

 

PS: Two

 

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